Thirteen years, one month, twenty-five days and counting...
That's how long it's been since my last drink, and know what? I didn't need to enroll in an AA programme to do it. I had tried, unsuccessfully, to quit in the past, so what was so different this time around? It's a question I have been asked countless times; by people who genuinely also want to quit, and an incredulous few who thought it was all a big joke when I made the initial announcement! One or two still think its a hoax...I think they're the ones who really need help!
So how do you stop?
Like anything in life, any meaningful change begins with a sincere DESIRE to change. When your desires align with your beliefs and values, then change becomes possible, but you still need to take committed action to make it a reality!
Oftentimes, the solution lies in discovering and understanding what your motivation to drink in the first place was. For me it was first curiosity then escape - an opportunity to become someone else, even if it was only for a few hours. It made me witty, smart, charming, persuasive and likeable...so i imagined. With hindsight, I realise that alcohol didn't change me, but, like money, it only amplified who I already was - potentially and in reality! If anything, alcohol simply removed any inhibitions I had and allowed me to express who I already was, without fear. That illusion is what kept me drinking. I feared that if I stopped drinking I wouldn't be who I wanted to be. Then who would I become?
Many of us struggle with our identities, mostly because we lack a defined purpose in life. When our purpose becomes defined so does our identity. The two are inseparable in my books: you become your purpose! Ask anyone with an unhealthy relationship with alcohol (or anyone for that matter!) what their purpose is and you'll discover that at best their response is vague. When you genuinely come to an understanding of what your purpose is, you do not need substitutes to fill in what is missing from your life! You are too busy walking in, and fulfilling your purpose to accommodate any.
So, in short, how did I stop drinking? I simply lost the appetite for another drink!
I'm convinced a part of me resolved that until I had found purpose for my life it would not permit me to drink again! I embarked on a pursuit of purpose and devoured many books and truths. I guess I became so full of truth that I didn't need a temporary substitute to fill up whatever void had been created in my life!
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